Welcome to the fourth part of learning how to be fearless in preparing for your birth. If you missed the first three sections, go through them first. They are the key foundations to facing, examining, and accepting your fears. If those steps aren’t taken first, then today’s part about researching the myths and facts surrounding your fears won’t profit you anything. So make sure to go in order.
How To Be Fearless
Let’s recaps the steps for becoming F.E.A.R.L.E.S.S. You’ve decided to ‘F’ace your fears, ‘E’xamine them, and ‘A’ccept them. Now you can move forward and start making real progress in discovering the myths and truths around them through ‘R’esearch.
No matter what your fear is, there is pure science backed data surrounding it. Today you’re going to research the facts so you understand the wive’s tales and the truth about things. Depending on how many fears you’ve written down previously, this may take more than just a few minutes. It may take you a few days or weeks. But that’s okay! Getting to the bottom of everything medically and scientifically will shed so much light that you’ll wish you had done so eons ago.
“Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.” – Wernher von Braun
I’m a scientist by trade, so doing research came naturally to me. Being deliberative from my Strengths Finder assessment proved that. So when I was pregnant with my first baby, I research everything. And I’m so glad I did. But you know what? I didn’t learn everything I know now the first time around. Nope. I know three times as much after having three babies naturally.
So I’ve made some shortcuts for you so you don’t have to take the time and spend hours upon hours looking for the answers you need. You won’t have to read What To Expect When You’re Expecting cover to cover, or spend nights on end reading Dr. Bradley’s Husband-Coached Childbirth (unless you want to). I have the answers right here.
First Steps
I want you to read a few posts that I’ve previously written about the benefits and risks of natural birth versus conventional interventions, and even how orgasmic births are completely possible. They may be long and hairy, but are totally worth your time. So go through these and take note of what’s important to you.
These are what you NEED to read:
- Natural Birth Side Effects – Good Or Bad?
- Are You Seeding Baby’s Microbiome? It Will Affect Their Entire Future
- How To Master Pain Relief During Childbirth In Just 15 Minutes
These are great and more specific. Totally optional:
- Childbirth Ring of Fire Secrets You’ve Never Heard
- Negative Epidural Impact Signs – Postpartum Depression & Less Breastfeeding
- How To Know If Breaking Water During Labor Is Right For You
- The Idea Of Orgasm While Giving Birth – Is It Possible?
- Delayed Cord Clamping Benefits You Don’t Want To Lose
- Considering Home Birth? Safety Is The Question
- What Is Episiotomy? Is It Worse Than Tearing?
- C-Section vs. Natural Birth – One Woman’s C-Section Preference
- Pain Relief Options During Labor So You Can Make It
- The Causes Of Autism In Children – Are C-Sections Or Epidurals To Blame?
If you’re looking for something in particular, feel free to search this site or ask me in the comments with specific questions. If I haven’t already addressed something in other posts, I will write a post or make a video on your question, no problem!
If your fears are more personal about emotions and relationships than the actual birth process and your body, let me say a few things to that.
Becoming A Mother
Many women are anxious and worried about simply becoming a mother.
- What if you make mistakes?
- What if you’re not ready for this momentous change?
- Do you feel that you’re not good enough to be a mother?
Honey, we all have this in our minds every single day. Our worlds are constantly changing once we see that positive result on the pregnancy test. We have to adapt and grow with that because we have no other choice.
The good news is, we are blessed with divine gifts that men do not have. We are so complexly perfect that we cannot understand it all. But that’s okay because we can trust in those gone before, in our creator, and you can trust in me.
You are going through the hardest time in your life right now. It doesn’t matter if you’re
- pregnant,
- with one baby already,
- multiple children,
- trying to conceive,
- have twins/triplets or adopted kids, it doesn’t matter.
You’re already doing everything right in order to get through it the best way you can.
Our minds are very powerful and being able to use them to our benefit emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually will hep create the birth that you want. If you feel you need more help with your mental strength, take a look at my favorite birthing kit designed with you in mind.
>> The Birth Relaxation Kit Makes Hypnobirthing Easy <<
It’s a lot to dig into today, depending on what you’re anxious about. But I promise that if you have the right information in front of you, you’ll find more confidence in making your decisions about the birth that you want.
What did you learn about your fears today?
If you’re like me, you can eat up book after book, course after course. I just crave learning and can’t get enough of it. Here are a few other that I recommend beyond what you’ve already explored.
Favorites In This Post:
- Strengths Finder by Gallup Press, play to your strengths and not your weaknesses
- What To Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff, America’s pregnancy Bible
- Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth by Robert Bradley, change the way you think about childbirth confidently
Now To Go:
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 1: Face It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 2: Examine It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 3: Accept It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 4: Do Your Research
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 5: Listen To The Right Voices
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 6: Handling Your Emotions
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 7: Stop
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 8: Smile
Hi Sarah,
I love how you’ve walked the talk of researching. I’ve had four babies, I was never afraid to give birth, but what scared me more was what came after they were born. The postpartum depression, but alas it never came. But by dispelling fear of birth is great, there are many women who still don’t know what to expect or do. Your website looks great and informative, the only thing I had a hard time was reading the links, which are really light in color. Otherwise a great article. What technique women can use to remember to use their breathing during birthing?
Hi Jagi. Even as I practiced for months my breathing for labor, I would naturally forget myself even with each baby. One thing I like to say is ‘practice while you poop’. I know, it’s weird. But it will totally make sense when you learning why breathing your baby out is much better than pushing when possible.
Thanks for your comment! Did you have your babies naturally?
Hi Sarah,
I feel fortunate to be able to read articles like “how to be fearless when birth is looming”.
I’ll be a grandfather and I want to be in the know of everything that to happen when my daughter gives birth.
She is 38 years old and I would like to ask you if you have any special recommendation for mothers who are having their first child at this age?
renan
Hi Renan. There are a number of risks your daughter and her baby are more susceptible to because she’s over age 35. I would make sure that she is aware of those, then she can make more informed decisions about prenatal testing that’s available. But all in all, she will do wonderful! You sound like a very loving and proud grandfather. Best to you family! 🙂