You may know why you’re afraid of something, and you will after having Examining It in Part 2 last week. But are you ready to accept it?
The third step in how to be fearless is ‘A’: Accept It. We’ve already, faced it, and examined it. Now you’re going to learn how to accept it.
So in Part 1: Face It, you already made a list. Keep this list handy as you go through some of the deeper questions of acceptance.
How To Be Fearless By Accepting
Picture in your mind that you’re in labor. If you haven’t experienced it yet, that’s okay. I can help describe it for you.
You’re feeling the waves and surges of intensity in your lower pelvis and abdomen. They’re consistent enough that you realize you’re in labor and need to get to where you’ve chosen to have your birth.
Related: Peak Of Pregnancy Labor Stages To Know
- What are you immediate thoughts?
- Are you worried about any of the things on your fears list?
- Why or why not?
Stop and write some of these things down. Dedicate a journal to this or use a personal workbook like this one on mindfulness. Sometimes what we think we’re going to be afraid of actually doesn’t end up happening. But you want to prepare for the likelihood and possibilities anyway so you’re not caught empty-handed.
- What do you think you would do when confronted with those fears in that moment?
- Do you believe that you can control every aspect of your birth?
- Will you believe me when I say that you can control a good portion of your birthing experience?
- Do you believe that you can overcome these issues?
If you just said “no” to that last question, stop. Stop right now.
If you’ve already chosen to NOT overcome, then it’s time to go back. You will need to go back to Step 2 and TRULY dig into examining why you feel the way you do, and why you’re here in the first place.
I secretly do the same thing. I don’t believe that I can overcome everything. And maybe that’s okay. But I know that I am strong and have the heart and desire to keep going.
“You can step over a rock in your path, or go around a boulder. And they’re still there in your journey, but you’re past them instead of stuck at them. That’s the difference.”
It’s okay to lack some faith. It’s okay to still be unsure. That’s why we’re going through this together. Just take a deep breath, and choose to move forward.
- Are you willing to tackle each one of these even before learning how to actually prepare for your birth?
- Are you willing to follow through with the research needed to conquer these fears?
- Are you going to accept them, not shy away from them or bury them in order to move forward?
Did you answer “yes?” YESS! Now you’re going to start making progress.
Related: How To Relax During Childbirth - 3 Simple Ways To Ease Tension & Enhance Joy
Time To Make An Action Plan
You already know what you’re dealing with, why, and who those issues are centered around. You’ve chosen to accept where you are and to deal with these things.
You’ve made MOMENTOUS progress! You’re already leaps and bounds ahead of many women in your shoes. I’ve talked with numbers of young ladies just like you that have fears too. But they decide to not figure them out. They choose to just “see how it goes”. Yikes!
So scratch that … you’re NOT just like them. You’ve chosen to face, examine, and accept your fears so that you can have the natural birth that you want. It’s HUGE!
I want you to be pleased with yourself about this fact. I want you to smile, right now. 🙂
Take confidence in knowing that your worries, frustrations, and anxieties will be far less very soon. Hold fast to that. You’re so close! Keep going, keep moving, and conquer.
If you’re eager to move ahead with your birth preparation, here’s my #1 recommendation.
>> Get All You Need In Your Natural Birthing Course <<
What’s your number one fear that you’ve decided to crush and overcome? Mine was having a baby with a disorder or birth defect because I’m in my thirties now. How about you?
Now Go To:
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 1: Face It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 2: Examine It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 3: Accept It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 4: Do Your Research
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 5: Listen To The Right Voices
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 6: Handling Your Emotions
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 7: Stop
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming - Part 8: Smile
Favorite In This Post:
Come back next week for Part 4, the nitty gritty of work in being fearless. 🙂
Hi, Sarah!
This is such a lovely article, filled with so much inspiration and encouragement. I definitely needed this when I was pregnant (my son was born via emergency C-section at 31 weeks) because I was SOOOO stressed the whole time.
I was the only one working (fiancé’s back has been bad for two years, no insurance) and I worked in a pharmacy, so you can imagine the kind of stress that would cause someone who already has extremely bad anxiety.
So glad I ran into these posts, and I can’t wait to read the rest!
-Heather M.
Hi Heather. Life IS just plain stressful. Throw a pregnancy on top of it and it can break the mama’s back, literally. How is your boy doing since he was so early? Sounds like even though it was hard, you find joy in being a wonderful mother. There’s a TED talk in this post about the affects a mother has on her baby even into third and fourth generations that you may find interesting. Thanks for your comment!
I love this series, Sarah. I was a little different in that I had a wonderful experience with an epidural with my first baby (I could not get over the fear of tearing and thus didn’t even consider a natural birth). With my second, I fully intended to get the epidural again but my little guy had other plans. He was nearly born in the car after an extremely fast and intense birth. Not being able to get over my fear with my first baby made my mind up with my second but sometimes we can’t control the process. I loved both my birth experiences. My second was crazy and fast but I felt so empowered and accomplished. I remember telling my husband right after he was born that “I did it.” If a third baby is ever in the cards, we will be going natural again! Now I know I can do it!
That is so awesome, Heather! Sounds like you had a precipitous birth. How long was your labor with your second one? I completely agree, it IS so empowering at times.
So you said you afraid of tearing… Did you tear with your second baby? And did you think it was a bad as you thought? I find that most mothers don’t even notice that they have torn in the middle of birth. It’s more the recovery stage that you feel those after effects.
You can definitely do it!