You’ve gotten over the hump! This is the fifth part of the eight-part series on how to be fearless when your birth is approaching. It’s all downhill from here, figuratively speaking.
So last time you did your research. At least, I sure hope you did. If you haven’t done that, go back to Part 4 and make sure you do. It may seem like the most time-consuming part of all of this, and it truly can be. But it’s where you’ll uncover the truth about every aspect of the birthing process and then you’ll be able to make better-informed decisions.
How To Be Fearless By Listening
So let’s break this down again. FEARLESS stands for:
- F – face
- E – examine
- A – accept
- R – research
- L – listen
- E – emotions
- S – stop
- S – smile
And right now you’re on Listen. What do I mean by listen?
There are two parts to listening to overcome your fears. You’re going to listen to what you’ve learned thus far, and also listen to those with positive experiences about birth. How do you do that?
Listen To What You’ve Learned
It’s a waste of time to go through all this effort of confronting your fears and believing your body’s abilities if you’re not going to listen and implement what you learn. Decide now.
- Are you going to trust in the facts that you’ve uncovered?
- Are you going to use those truths to reinforce positive beliefs about your fears?
- Are you going to choose to believe in the good that DOES exist even if you haven’t experienced it for yourself yet?
Answer YES to all of these questions and you are setting yourself up for success. Answer NO and you may as well stop right here and not continue. You can only further strengthen yourself mentally and emotionally when you choose to believe based on everything you’ve uncovered.
If you need to put the facts about the great benefits and possibilities of a natural birth right on your mirror so you see it every day, do it.
If you need to have positive birth affirmations like these ones, everywhere you go, do it.
Just do it.
Related: Are You Using Faith, Hope And Love Symbols For Your Good?
Listen To The Positive
Unfortunately, we cannot always control what many mothers will share with us about their experiences. Even without asking, they can spout off the terrible times they had. What do you do then?
Gently ask them to relate the great things about their birth.
- What was the happiest moment of their births?
- What part about the labor and delivery wasn’t as bad as they had thought?
- What was the easiest part of giving birth?
- What uplifting things would they tell new mothers?
Focus on these types of things in your conversations. If whomever you’re talking to wishes to just relay the negative things, change the subject. Get away from them. Let them know you don’t want to hear it.
“My mother’s idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive – the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled.” — Robin Williams
Listen to positive birth stories. You can read mine and many others, like in this book I enjoyed. I have an entire Pinterest board full of great natural birth stories you can pick and choose from.
Listen to the positive. Even with little shortcomings, there is ALWAYS a positive result from every single birth.
Related: Sarah’s Natural Baby Birth Stories
Keep Going
When I was pregnant for the first time, I had conflicting surroundings. My own mother had experienced almost every kind of birth option possible. She would focus on the positive things for me though because she believed in my choices and respected them.
On the other hand, my mother-in-law had a much different point of view. She was a life-long labor and delivery nurse that firmly believed in western medicine, epidurals and the like, and that natural births were a joke.
I love my mother-in-law and respected her opinion. But I chose to focus on the positive aspects about birth she conveyed. I learned a lot from her because of her experience in many different birthing situations. But I didn’t let it deter me, and she knew that, so she didn’t try to persuade me either.
I kept going. Just keep going.
>> Here’s The Book That Kept Me Going <<
Be strong. You are stronger than you think you are. Stand on the tall shoulders of those who have gone before. If you need a positive influence for your birth, I can be that influence. Let me know if you need someone to listen to. I am always here.
What are you going to choose to listen to today?
Come back next week for Part 6: Handling Your Emotions. We’re going to dig into the ‘great’ emotional stability you have right now and how that plays a part in becoming fearless. Cheers!
Favorites In This Post:
- Natural Birth Stories: The Real Mom’s Guide to an Empowering Natural Birth, because 32 positive birth stories are very empowering
- 42 Positive and Empowering Affirmation Cards for Pregnancy, Labor and Nursing, one for each week of pregnancy so you’re never left without inspiration
Now To Go:
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 1: Face It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 2: Examine It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 3: Accept It
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 4: Do Your Research
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 5: Listen To The Right Voices
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 6: Handling Your Emotions
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 7: Stop
- How To Be Fearless When Birth Is Looming – Part 8: Smile
this is so great! definitely book marking and coming back to this when we are ready for baby #2. Even though I had a natural delivery with our first, I’ve already been faced with the fear when thinking about the second!
Hi Lauren! There’s always a little of fear that seems to never get rooted out completely. 🙂 But that’s why I wrote this series because it can be applied to any situation.
Great post. To be honest I was just glad to have the baby out lol. I think the best advice is knowing it is painful very painful
Hi Heidi. There are a number of things that you can do to remedy any childbirth pain that you feel. Did you birth naturally? Next time around, I can help you with minimizing that struggle. Thanks for your comment!
This is so important! And it really applies for all types of birthing. When I had my first, I was deterimined to have an unmedicated hospital water birth. My husband didn’t want me to have a doula, and then at first signs of pain, he started advocating for epidural. It truly was a horrid experience. My second birth was a planned cesarian (due to issues with the baby, not me or the delivery – story for another day). And my third was a preterm planned cesarian because of how high the vertical cut from my second was that made VBAC not an option. I’ve had to take a step back when discussing my first two cesarians and examine what truly made me happy from those births; my stories could scare even a mother wanting a cesarian. Being positive to new mothers is alwasy best!
Thanks for sharing, Kaitlyn. We can’t know everything that will happen. But going into it as you did with good intentions and preparation makes a big difference when possible. But you came through!