How I Got Started As An Egg Donor

This post is part 1 of a series.  You can read Part 2 here and Part 3 here.

So I have three children.  Had them fast, and now we’ve decided that we’re likely done having kids.  So a few years ago when we, my husband and I, decided this, I started thinking.

The Need For In-Vitro Fertilization

I’m sure you know someone in your life that has had difficulty getting pregnant, or unfortunately deals with infertility.  Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s her.  But either way, it’s not working.

And they desperately want to have children, or have another.  They try for a long time, hope, pray, nurture their bodies as best they can, but it doesn’t seem to happen.

Fortunately there are wonderful technologies and modern medical methods that are able to help most of these couples.  There are other options like adoption or having a surrogate.  But I feel that those who try in vitro fertilization desire their own experiences with birth, using their own genetics as much as possible.

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The Need For Egg Donors

So though expensive, turning to IVF is the only option.  Some couples, although they’ve chosen IVF, they still have to have some help.  They may require a sperm or egg donor in order to give things the best chances possible.

Now we all know that sperm is easier to acquire.  It’s much more difficult to acquire eggs.  They’re limited, they’re hidden, they’re precious.  And they’re rare.  Availability to eggs is much lower than sperm.

There are donor banks that many couples gain access too, just like sperm.  But what a lot of folks don’t realize is what happens for the egg donor before a couple is even going through IVF.

Starting My Journey As An Egg Donor

So circling back, I decided to become an egg donor.  I realized that I’ve been blessed with a wonderful family, I have had wonderful experiences already.  I want that for other mothers.  So recently I started the process of going through egg donation.

I wanted to share my experience, because it’s not one that too many people hear about.  It’s a wonderful perspective and I’ve been blessed to help other mothers I’ll never meet.

So a few years ago, when I decided to move forward with this, I went to a local fertility clinic and get things going.  I filled out the paperwork, I did the pelvic exams, the blood tests, the genetic tests, etc.  And this was just to be accepted as a donor!

If all the test results came back and I was a carrier for a terrible genetic disease, or my hormones were horribly out of whack, this opportunity may have never happened for me.  Fortunately, everything looked good, tests came back fine.

Then I got to submit a bunch of pictures of myself to go in a database, from when I was a baby, little girl, all through my adulthood.  Then I sat back to wait.

Someday soon, a mother and father would look at my profile, see a big possibility of what their child would possibly look like, and instantly know I was the right donor for them.

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The Tricky Things With Donor Banks

So I waited, and waited.  And waited.  That was about two and a half years ago.

I didn’t hear anything from the fertility bank.  They had told me that almost all of their donors were chosen by couples within 6 months because of the demand and need for egg donors.

Last month I called the clinic to inquire about what was going on.  Was there something wrong with my medical history?  My profile?

They told me that it’s possible, because of my age, most of the donor banks weren’t interested in me.  Most donor banks wouldn’t take any egg donors over age 30.  As I write this, I’m 32.  But that didn’t necessarily exclude me from a couple personally choosing me.

So I took a deep breath and kept praying I could help someone.

Then a few weeks ago, I got a call from the clinic.  Someone wanted me as their donor!

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The Legalities of Being An Egg Donor

First off, they wanted me to check my calendar and confirm that I wouldn’t be out of town for most of the next few months.  Why?  Because I would be coming in for tests, blood draws, medication, and ultimately the egg donation.

My schedule was pretty open, and I said, “Yes, let’s do this!”

The first day I went in as an official donor, I got to go through more paperwork.  I was talked through a big packet of liability forms and information having to do with my rights, the recipient’s rights, the clinic’s rights, etc.

Then we went over my expected calendar for the next month, when I’d be

• on birth control,
• taking the hormone shots, when I’d be
• coming in for ultrasounds, and
• when I’d be expected to go through the donation procedure.

Boy it was a lot!  I took all the paperwork home to thoroughly read through each page, initialing and signing in many places.  There was even a section that I had to have my husband sign.

Being An Open Or Closed Donor

I chose to have a fully closed donation.  This means that I do not want my identity given to my egg recipient(s) and the child or children that may come from my donation.

Some folks think that you donate once, and that means one possible child may come from that.  Nope.  My donation will go to an awaiting couple and they may use more than one egg, then possibly again in the future for more children.  If there is a big supply of eggs I’m able to give, it’s very likely some eggs will go to donor banks anywhere in the world, to other families, etc.

So I chose to not have my personal information released, because I don’t want the complicated relationships down the road that may occur.  I want this donation to be fully for these other families, not for me.

Anonymity Isn’t Guaranteed

The interesting part though, much of the paperwork expressed details surrounding this.  I had to acknowledge that even though the clinic and the donor banks would protect my information to the fullest extent possible, there were a few situations that they can’t control.

For example, if for some reason the clinic or donor banks received a court order to reveal who I am, they legally have to.  Another situation is if the recipient families choose to do genetic testing in order to learn who is their genealogical family lines.

Without how brilliant and groundbreaking DNA testing is today, it’s possible that someone can have their testing done and access genetic lines to reveal who they’re related to, just from genetic databases.  And I did have to undergo some genetic testing to become a donor.

In that situation, the clinic has no power over a recipient’s pursuit in finding out that genetic knowledge.  But I was okay with that.  I was still going to donate.

It’s Just The Beginning

One cool thing I learned, because I have an IUD that’s not hormonal, it’s easier for me to start this process.  They don’t have to wait for me to start/finish a cycle in order to sync me up with my recipient.  I started birth control that very day and after a few weeks will start with the hormone injections.

So that’s where I’m at right now.  Popping birth control pills daily …. and it’s causing little breakouts, agh!  And looking forward to what’s coming.  I’m going to be able to help at least one family have at least one child.  Who knows where my eggs will go and who they will help.

It’s going to be a wonderful journey, I feel, like pregnancy.  So I’ll let you know what’s coming, and how things go every step of the way.

Have you ever been an egg donor?

 

MORE RESOURCES

• Natural Pregnancy Essentials
• Getting Ready To Be An Egg Donor
• The Hardest and Best Part About Being An Egg Donor
• Egg Donation Requirements and Information, by Egg Donor America
• What I Wish Before I Donated My Eggs, by We Are Egg Donors
• I’m Ready To Start A Family