Most of us are so focused on getting through our pregnancy and preparing for our birth that we don’t think about the aftermath.  I’ve said it before.  The the wave of aftershock can just hit us so hard we think that there’s something wrong with us.

We see the pictures of Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, hours after giving birth and wonder why we can’t look that bright and cheerful afterwards.  We see Instagram photos of new moms that have just pushed their last push and have gorgeous hair and makeup for the rest of their hospital stay.

What gives?  The fact is, there are a lot of non-realistic expectations about how you will look and feel after having just given birth.  Because what you’re NOT seeing is how much effort those individuals probably went through to still look fabulous.  And I promise it won’t last after those pictures are taken.

Here’s what to realistically expect after giving birth.  All those ‘perfect-looking’ mothers are going through all of these things too, even if you don’t see it.

What To Realistically Expect After Giving Birth

The First Few Days . . .

When you’re still in the hospital or just getting used to baby’s presence for the first few days of their life, things seem quite grand, actually.

• You’re happy hormones and endorphins are still at higher levels.
• You’re enjoying the fact that you no longer have that terrible weight inside of you.
• Baby is sleeping…A LOT.  They may even sleep completely through the night for the first few nights.
• People are taking care of you right and left.  They’re admiring your bundle of joy and lifting your spirits remarkably.
• You FINALLY get to eat that cold sub sandwich and chocolate milkshake you’ve been holding out for.
• Plus, you get some medication to help you feel better and ease the discomfort.

THESE were all the things you see portrayed here and there, after you and other mothers took the time to do your makeup while baby was sleeping.

→ But don’t forget the rest you need to prepare for that are more on the downside:

• As I mentioned when packing your hospital bag, you don’t need your skinny jeans yet.  Because you’re still going to look pregnant.  Sorry.
• Your core is going to be quite weak because of all the stretching it’s gone through and now seems to just hang like a loose bag.  It will be very difficult to sit up on your own because of it.
• It was nice to not have a period for 9 months.  But now you’re going to get the longest, worst one of all to make up for it.  You’re going to bleed heavily for the first week or so.  This comes with practically wearing a diaper.  Yes, I’m sorry, but that super duper maxi pad may as well be a Depends because of all the soaking and changing you’re going to have to take care of.  (Here’s a take on the lighter side of that messy situation.)
• If you had a cesarean, there are stitches and extra soreness across your belly you get to deal with.  Or if you tore and had stitches downward, same goes for you.  (Read more about vaginally delivery recovery here.)
• Your uterus is going to cramp, and cramp, and cramp–especially when you start breastfeeding.  This is so you can shrink it back down to size after its monstrous growth.

But right now it’s easier to think about the grand things afore mentioned.  You don’t have to have the camera out for every waking moment, especially when you’re not done up–because you’re not going to care about being done up anyway.  (Look at my second birth pic, no makeup whatsoever.)

I like this mother’s rendition of her postpartum recovery at home.

Then Come The Hard Weeks

You’ve brought that little one home and you’re finally free of the hospital and others’ gaping views which can be really bothersome at times.  And you lay down to go to bed thinking, “My baby is wonderful.  He sleeps through the night.”  Then reality hits.

• Now baby’s appetite is in full swing and they want to eat every two hours or so.  So you’re up walking the halls all night because they have their days and nights mixed up.
• Your body is starting to feel like jello and in a super sore state because those endorphins are gone and you don’t get to rest as much.
• You’re still bleeding and bleeding…and bleeding.
• When your milk has come in your breasts will become engorged and swollen, under pressure like never before, lasting for up to a week.
• The frustration of baby not latching on well without perfect guidance can last for days until they automatically do it on their own.
• When you have to have that first bowel movement post-partum, it’s like the sharpest wedge EVER is being delivered as you have to push past those hemorrhoids and stitches.
• Your emotions will be all over the place from your lack of sleep.  You’re going to cry, and cry….and then cry because you don’t know why you’re crying.
• You may have thought you’d have this IMMEDIATE bond with your baby.  But it may not come for a while–and that’s OKAY.
• You can become down and ‘blue’ for weeks from your new responsibilities for your baby.  You may even become depressed even if depression has never been a problem for you.

But that’s not all.  NO!

There are GREAT things going on too that you can expect and KNOW are going to get you through these first few weeks of hard adjustment.

• You’re going to lose weight quickly!  Now, mind you, you will NOT return to your pre-pregnancy weight for up to a year.  But it’s kind of fun to step on the scale after giving birth and laugh about how you’ve immediately lost atleast 10 pounds.
• You can often go back to eating as your heart desires, without worrying about the certain foods you had to avoid before.
• Your endless ‘period’ will lighten and you can get away from those terrible super-sized pads and just stick with the standard ones, all back into your regular underwear no less.
• When baby is sleeping, you get to sleep too, having the perfect excuse to nap multiple times per day.
• Letting the housework go will not rain down imperfect judgement upon you from others.
• Your uterine cramps will have ceased and you no longer have to sleep with the heating pad.
• Family and friends may still be visiting and adoring you both, without ANY comment to your appearance or demeanor.
• You can start exercising again after you’re feeling well enough to do so, providing greater energy to your drained stores.

As Time Goes On

Those first few months can seem like years.  And the nights will drag on forever as you pray for the dawn to come faster.

You’ll have times when you think you can’t handle anymore and lashing out at loved ones may happen.

But…

Your baby WILL starting sleeping through the night, only waking a few times to nurse, and then go right back to sleep instead of staying up for hours.

Your body is going to come back together and you’re going to master how to breastfeed so quick and easy you won’t even have to think about it anymore.

I PROMISE.

Your visitors will dwindle and the housework will stack up.  But your baby will start to smile at you and maybe even giggle.

The nights will not provide enough sleep for awhile.  But you’ll start to have such a great love for your child that you wonder how you were ever happy without them.

Simply knowing that these are the realistic circumstances that will befall you, good and bad, provides you the greater power to get through them each day.

Recover Best With Some Natural Pampering Essentials

Take a warm bath and KNOW that you are going to recover.  In fact, you may do it over and over again.  But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

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