Hopefully by now you have accepted the fact that you’re going to go through your labor and delivery. Many new mothers seem to hit a denial period in the third trimester when they can’t get over the hump of biological fact that what is about to happen to them cannot be stopped. It’s unfortunate, really, but I understand why a new mother would feel this way. Which is why I hope to help you manage labor pain with acceptance and know what you can do to move forward peacefully for yourself and your baby.
The sad part about all this is that the word pain is such a heavy and forceful word that makes people flinch. I looked up the definition just for kicks and found the suffering of childbirth listed right there! And the fact that the word suffering was used is terrible. Childbirth pain is NOT suffering. Believe me when I say:
You CAN Manage Labor Pain
When you made the choice, after all your research and exploration, to go with a natural baby birth, you chose the labor to go with it. You chose to experience a few hours worth, maybe a few days worth, of pain in order to give your child the best lifelong benefits for their health. You chose to trust in yourself, trust in your body, trust in your creator that everything works for a reason, and that this point in your life is a culmination of your creation.
When you believe that - then you MUST believe and know that you will not be suffering with all your preparation. You have come this far, through months of pregnancy, months of who knows what symptoms….But you’ve also done your exercises, and eaten right, taken care of yourself, done your relaxation preparation, educated yourself with a course, worked with your doctor….
You are READY for this. You are MADE for this, and only you can do this for your child. Mothers do this every day and you will soon join the ranks.
So DON’T believe that having your baby is suffrage. Having your baby is a graceful absolution that you will not regret. You’ve had this conviction until now. But the moment those labor pains start, if you haven’t anchored that conviction deep within you, then all your preparation may fly out the window. Then you may choose to just try to distract yourself with denial, or distract your body with an epidural. But it’s not worth it. Let’s explore how you can knowingly accept your labor before you get to it.
Distraction vs. Acceptance
Some child birthing methods teach the idea that your mind can play tricks on you, or if it’s focused elsewhere it will not pay attention to what is taking place in your body. Think of it like this: when you’ve had a hard day at work, you’ve gradually gotten a bad headache. But because you’re working furiously and focusing on other tasks, the actual pain you’re in doesn’t seem as bad as it really is. Then when you get home and can let go of all that busywork, then you REALLY feel your headache because your body is trying to tell your mind what it needs to be paying attention to.
This works a little bit when it comes to unnatural pain caused by a negative source, like an unintentional injury. But the type of pain you’re going to experience from childbirth is a POSITIVE kind. Now think of it this way: when you’re getting a massage, you’re relaxing and letting your knots untangle after the same grueling day’s work. The message may be somewhat painful as your body tries to correct itself, but it’s one of those “Feel-Good Pains.” It is worth the effort to withstand the discomfort in order to feel better afterward.
That’s how labor & delivery is, times 10. But you receive back 10 times the benefit.
So this idea of Distraction vs. Acceptance isn’t very difficult to understand, but here are some facts:
| VS. | Positives  |
Negatives |
| Distraction |
|
|
| Acceptance |
|
|
It’s also interesting to note what they are defined by as well. I look these up and was rather intrigued, but not overly surprised by what I found.
Distraction - mental stress or derangement, prevents concentration, disorder caused by dissension, tumult
Acceptance - favorable reception, approval, favor, assenting or believing
So let’s change the wording, shall we? It may strike a cord better for you.
Stress vs. Believing
You already have enough stress in your life, self-inflicted or not. You can BELIEVE that your labor will be passable and that you will come through. (Learn more about overcoming your fear of childbirth.)
Some women seem to say (the really old ones mind you) that once you’re holding your baby you’ll forget all about your labor. That’s a load of crock! 🙂 Nevertheless, you can look back to your memories of going through labor and not fear for the next time around when you’ve fully accepted how to handle and view your experience.
I cannot say it enough times. You are READY for this, whether you think it or not. And now that you’ve crossed over this bridge, you can look back and see that skinny tightrope as a glorious overpass of delicate iron. So what’s your next step?
The Remarkable Birth Relaxation Kit Makes Birthing Easy
I enjoyed writing this because sometimes I feel like I speaking directly to you! Like I’m up at that pulpit, looking into your beautiful faces, encouraging you. I get such a great feeling when I do so and I hope that you feel that same as you read.
PLEASE let me know how you’re doing and what I can do for you. Outstanding.
CasieGWaldie says
It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this excellent blog!
I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
I look forward to new updates and will share this site with my Facebook group.
Chat soon!
Go ahead and subscribe Casie then you won’t miss anything. I appreciate you sharing, that how we get the word out. Thanks!
Anthony says
Hey sarah Great site & post I like how you break everything up so it is easy to read and understand, I for one cannot realte to this but it is interesting and I know a few people that are going through a pregnacy right now so I will be sure to share this with them.
Have a Great New Year
Anthony
Yes, feel free to share with anyone you think may benefit. I appreciate your help and hope to reach all who desire the best for their baby’s births. Thanks, Anthony!
Hi Sarah,
I have not gone through childbirth pain but the feedback that I often hear from new mothers is that without the analgesia, it can be extremely painful. It does give me the phobia as I don’t have a very high threshold for pain.
But it’s all in the mind, isn’t it? I will remember that. Thanks Sarah 🙂
I’ve found that the BEST thing one can do to reduce pain levels, even BEYOND everything here in preparation for labor, is to EXERCISE throughout one’s pregnancy. I have excellent exercises posted here and I know that if any mom will follow through with these, they’re labor will be dramatically shorter and easier.
The mind is power, Cathy. But the body is very powerful too. It’s the most complete when both are working powerfully TOGETHER. I appreciate your comments.
Srijan Bhardwaj says
Hey Sarah! This is an awesome post! You have explained whole thing so well. Your efforts are commendable.
The way you explain whole thing from your point is so natural. I think this natural flow is your best strength!
Keep up the good work. Happy new year! 😀
I appreciate your comments, Srijan. I’ve never considered how I speak and write to be a strength. Thanks so much and Happy New Year to you too!
Nate says
Hey Sarah - great post - makes a lot of sense and you sound really passionate and knowledgeable about natural childbirth.
Though there’s no chance of me going through the experience (being male!) if I did then this would be extremely helpful.
At the same time I think this information is actually really helpful for the father too - in order to help support his partner - will definitely keep this website in mind when the time comes for me to be a father.
I fully support and encourage fathers to be completely involved with their wive’s decisions and preparation on the subject. When you’re in the moment, sometimes thing can change instantly and if one of you isn’t on the ball, then things may not work out like you desire as best you can control. Husband’s are an excellent strength to their wives and I’m going to post more in the future about their roles. You can learn more in Dr. Bradley’s book about his view on this topic as well. I appreciate your comment, Nate. Have a wonderful New Year!
I love the idea of acceptance and not viewing it as suffering. The media and our peers show us that childbirth is a painful horrible experience. We basically grow up to view it in a negative way. It even scares you! But being afraid would only make the pain worse - same as thinking negatively about it.
Well said, Martina. My goal is to break through that stigma and help many understand that it is NOT as portrayed. Thanks for your comment!
Kdogg says
Hey Sarah,
Nice post and nice website. I am sure this will help a lot of women manage labor pain.
Indeed it will. They also must know too that there are many different types of things to learn about going through labor. Thanks for your comment.
elia says
I love your website, wish it was around when I had my kids.
I hear that a lot, Elia. Feel free to share with others who may be in the right place of their lives so we can reach those searching. I appreciate it!
Candace says
Sarah, what a beautiful article and unique take on giving birth! Although I have never given birth I think that this advice sounds very reasonable and is noteworthy. If I ever decide to have children then I will definitely consider this information. As of now maybe I will apply this to other aspects of my life such as exercise. It may seem painful for the moment but the benefits outweigh the pain.
Thanks for your point of view, Candace. You’re absolutely right that it can be applied with anything difficult in our lives, for sure. I’ll have to start doing that more regularly now for the new year. Best!
Hi Sarah, this is an informative article that’s helpful for soon-to-be-mothers who might have a fear or anxiety prior to giving births.
Best wishes,
Tina
Thanks, Tina. It’s definitely the first step to take when approaching one’s Labor & Delivery. Thanks for your comment!
Great post. While I have nothing to relate to, I applaud your ways of living and the choices you have made.
Same to you, Cory. Best to your New Year!