After having three little ones, all very different births, here’s what I wish I would have known. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really learn anything from my own relatives, so I got to learn through experience.
You’re Going To Have The Biggest Wow of Your Life
My first birth was obviously the biggest wow experience because I’d never been through it before. It’s quite indescribable, the feeling of seeing that baby just appear and I’ll you’ve really known of him was the gas and bloat of your belly.
Then with my second and third, there was still this wow factor. Like you can’t believe this is happening again. Yet there’s calm contentment with the subsequent babies that is more peaceful, rather than mind-blowing. Still, both equally wow.
You Absolutely Must Relax Everything Else
The flow of endorphins and helping labor along is incredible when you learn how to relax all the other muscles. With my first birth, I wasn’t even pushing. I was literally squeezing every muscle in my body so much that I was turning purple.
With my second and third, I completely let go and only focused on bearing down at the very end. Those were much better, easier, and enjoyable experiences. Your body’s ability to do this without you is so incredible, so why not just relax through it?
The Bathroom Breaks Post Delivery Are The Worst Ever If You’ve Pushed Too Hard
Oh boy, did I come face to face with the pain of hemorrhoids after my first baby, and that was even with stool softener. Those first few bowel movements were horrible. I didn’t dare look “down there” because of what I would see.
When you push way too hard during delivery, especially if you’re not positioned properly, you’re gonna create painful hemorrhoids. You don’t feel them right after the birth because of all the endorphins you have. But once they wear off, watch out!
When You Tear, Sex Hurts Everywhere
Scar tissue from a healed tear always hurts. It’s not flexible or stretchy like the rest of your perineal tissue. So when hubby wants some, the pressure from him on you is super sharp and painful. It can takes months and months of consistent painful practice in order to gently ease that tissue away from pain. Yet it rarely happens.
I suffered issues for years until my midwife gave me some simple hormone cream. I dabbed it on each day for a few weeks, and the pain disappeared! Literally over night, it was incredible. I can’t believe that my previous doctors did not have any solutions for me and that I just had to deal with it.
The More You Do It, The Better It Feels
My second birth was super calm and relaxing, an easy birth that I enjoyed. You see, I was mentally on a beach in Mexico, listening to my Enya and visualizing being pregnant there in the waves of water. Releasing any sort of tension was easy because I knew better than the first time around.
My third birth was quick and intense, and also very orgasmic and incredibly powerful. It blew my mind how good things can feel when we just support our bodies the right way and let it do it’s thing. There is more love for the experience, more bliss for you, and greater connection between you and your baby when the cycle is repeated.
It was never about which natural product I needed to buy to ensure that my pregnancy/labor/recovery was wonderful.
It was never about which baby item I absolutely needed in order to not go insane while taking care of them in a flurry of new motherhood stress.
It was never about needing to know which exact technique, position, or detail in my birth plan would revolutionize my experience.
It just takes some intentional education, intentional practice, and intentional love for what you’re going to experience with your baby. May you love every moment of it, possibly prevent the downsides, and always look back with grateful fondness.
What do you wish you’d known before having your baby naturally?
- Natural Birth Essentials
- How To Relax During Childbirth: 3 Simple Ways To Easy Tension & Enhance Joy
- 17 Things You Need To Know About Natural Birth, by RedBookMag