I was recently watching a conference with my family and I heard a great speaker share something vital.
He said, “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”
“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” — Russell M. Nelson
Isn’t it true?
Determining Your Focus
What we literally choose to
- think about,
- actions to take,
- goals to set, and
- things to say,
will determine our state of mind.
I’ve been reading this awesome book by Tony Robbins lately called Unlimited Power. I’m a bit of a self-help junkie.
But I’ve been reading in there, this idea he discusses of changing your state in order to change how to feel and what you do. And it all starts with the awareness of how we focus our lives.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you focus on the actions of others?
- Or you reflect on the actions you take?
- Are you concerned about what your spouse and family are constantly doing?
- Or do you take priority in your own goals?
- Do you dwell on the negative things that happen around you?
- Or do you choose to change your circumstances in order to become more positive?
My Personal Example
I’ve been under the gun at work lately because we have this major, MAJOR project happening with my team. I have these big analyses to do with enormous data sets. Then I turn the results over to a coworker for her to continue working on.
It’s been a bit tense between us because she’d been asking me for something the past few weeks that I hadn’t been able to deliver. Because of many circumstances out of my control, I wasn’t able to get it to her when she wanted it.
I felt like she was very frustrated with me. I felt like she was judging me as incompetent.
Then once I did get it to her, she wasn’t even able to work on it because she had other priorities going on.
So all of this tension between us was in vain and produced no positive result.
I was thinking about this in the shower today because it was just EATING at me. I was annoyed and frustrated and feeling like pointing the finger and blaming everything else for this situation.
But then I chose to
- step back,
- become aware of how I was feeling,
- and decided to let this go as much as possible.
I had done my job. No, I’m not perfect. I cannot change her reactions and actions toward me. I can only decide on what I will do.
So I decided to change my state, as Tony Robbins taught, and I went to the gym to burn it out of me. And for the rest of the day I continually focused on choosing to deal with ONLY the things that I can control.
I certainly felt better.
What To Do
You can apply this to any aspect of your life that you are dealing with. If anything isn’t bringing you joy as it should,
- change your circumstances,
- change your state,
- change your focus,
and you will most likely change your life.
Make this a part of your life and you’ll find a lot of energy regained because you’re not wasting it on things that suck away your joy.
What is something that you need to STOP focusing on because it’s not bringing you joy? How are you going to change your focus?